People are telling me that I'm stressing myself too much and I tried to not panic whenever I thought about the exams that are to come very soon. It's hard. I get frustrated, I get worried, I run away from reality and at the end of the day, I hate myself for failing again. It's tiring. My heart isn't really helping lately, with the acute pain that comes now and then, I'm rather worried about how much longer I can last. The breathlessness and the pain seems to be sending me a sign, a message that hey, something's wrong and I should really do something about it. What are those something? I wish I know too.

For now, I feel so trapped in the dark, like someone who is lost in the tunnel, not knowing what I should do. Problems that concern me and problems that don't continue to stack on. Where's the light that I'm searching for? I wonder too. This feeling sucks, really. I just need a sign, an arrow that points me at the right direction or I doubt I won't be able to last till the battle comes.

Sheesh. Another depressing one. Ohwell.

This is a really awesome drawing by the way. It's drawn by markcrilley. Go search him on YouTube. He is really awesome and his awesomeness went up by ten folds right after he posted the video with this drawing. I shall try to draw an imitation of it maybe tonight, wish me luck:D

Well, I have quite a few telling me that I should stop emo-ing on my blog so I figured that I will try to make life slightly more cheerful that it actually is.

It's not like I hate my life or anything. In fact I really love it. My life is awesome but the stress that I have at times is not. Plus there are people who aren't enjoying life as much as I do sometimes and that's really sad):

Anyway, I've been watching the secret millionaire lately and I really love it. Every episode just leaves me there reflecting on how I can help those in need, those who aren't as fortunate as you and me. People who aren't able to study, people who don't have a home to live in, people who just live everyday as if it's their last because it might really be their last if they don't have any more food to eat or that their illnesses decide to rob them of their lives. Sigh, life is never fair, isn't it?

Ohmy. This is a depressing post again. Okay let's see, I shall say something happy-ish.

Oh! Oh! Ohmygosh. hunger games trailer is finally out. How cool is that? It's nothing much though. It just shows katniss(Jennifer Lawrence) running in the woods. I personally think that the woods is a bit too bright for my liking but if the woods was dark, we won't be able to see anything, right? Although they remove some of the quite important characters like the one who gave katniss the mockingbird pin, I hope they'll still make an awesome movie which will not be very disappointing. I shall not have a very high expectation of it in case it isn't as good as I picture it to be. At least the casts are hot(: I can't wait to see it, especially how they are going to design katniss costume. Whoo!

Okay, I'm feeling happy. Shall try to attempt studying(: adieus!

I wished for world peace, for harmony, for health, for happiness and most important of all, I wished for the best for all my beloved ones

Yikes, I miss Sotong. I miss having someone there for me to rant, I miss having someone to cheer me on, to motivate me, to encourage me not to give up. Life sucks right now. There hasn't been a day when I don't wish to stay at home instead of going to school.

Friends make a really important part of my life. They are the one who keep me going. It's not that the friends I have now aren't awesome. They are a really wonderful bunch of people but I really miss my rainbow. The rainbow that keeps me smiling even after a storm.

And most of all I miss having you by my side):

This is a phrase I will never forget, a phrase which my ex-classmate used to have on her messenger.

It had been a tough week

A simple graduation night always ended being something big

Giving me a hell lots of problems

It should have been something simple, something that could be settled so easily but no, I was wrong.

Nights after nights, I lay on my bed wondering why God loves to give me so many obstacles to overcome. I know it's way to be wiser and be more mature but I do wonder if there was a better way to grow than through this tough journey.

Then again, miracles always happen.

The obstacles were cleared.

But silly me, I've made a wrong move.

I did something stupid by not doing something.

It was bad.

I regret it.

So please, if you are hearing my pleas.

Please let this be settle smoothly or I will have regrets through the months even till the day comes.

I know it's time that I stop acting this way but please, do let everything end successfully.

It's tiring, living your life in regrets now and then

Girl, it's time to grow up.